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A number of theories have recently pointed out how we communicate even in our gift-giving. One type of gift has been referred to as the Pygmalion gift, that is, the gift that seems to be designed to change the person into what the donor wants the person to become. The husband who buys his wife sexy lingerie may be asking his wife to be sexy; the wife who buys her husband a weight-lifting machine may well be asking the same thing. The parent who repeatedly gives a child books or scientific equipment such as a microscope, may be asking the child to be a scholar. The problem with some of these gifts is that the underlying motives - the underlying displeasures - may never be talked about and hence never resolved. This is not to say that all gifts are motivated by negative aspects of our personalities, only to suggest that even in gift-giving there are messages communicated that are often overlooked and that often fiinction below the level of conscious awareness. Such messages, however, may have considerable impact on the recipient, the donor, and the relationship itself.
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